Stream of Consciousness #7 - Why Scientology Sucks

So, I've been attending a Logic class, and started thinking about why the Church of Scientology hates psychiatrists and therapists so much. My answer was a thoroughly awesome analogy that I just had to share, touchy lawyers be damned.

The Church of Scientology is a vampire, and its weakness is common sense. And when I say "vampire", I don't mean the friendly type like Edward Cullen. I mean the *very strong expletive* Volturi - the vicious, predatory, thoroughly immoral kind of vampire.

Like Count Dracula of horror movie fame, the Church of Scientology attacks the vulnerable and deludes and charms its victims into its clutches, with hypnotic promises of salvation from imperfection and pain. Once it has them, it sucks them dry via membership and auditing fees. As it does this, it also solidifies its control over their minds, much like Dracula's bite would transform its victims into lesser vampires enslaved to his will. Yes, as Dracula says in Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, "Perhaps the same could be said of all religions" - heck, the medieval Catholic Church operated in a fashion much like the Church of Scientology does today. But seriously, at least the Catholic Church realized that what it was doing didn't live up to the doctrines set up by its founder! Jesus Christ was, if not the Son of God, nevertheless a selfless and tireless mentor figure who constantly worked to instill virtue and hope in his fellow men and women, even at the ultimate price to himself. And this is also true of the other major established religions, like Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Shintoism, etc. - they're all first and foremost supposed to be guides to living a good, virtuous, and happy life (as well as answers to the deepest mysteries of the universe). Ol' Ron Hubbard was a despicable con man who the Earth is much better off without. He treated religion like it was a money-making business (or, to be more precise, a pyramid scheme), but it's supposed to be a venture to improve the human condition and keep the darker side of human nature on a tight leash. Now, as for completing the vampire analogy - psychiatrists are to the Church of Scientology what sunlight, crosses, garlic, running water, etc. are to vampires. Psychiatrists specialize in helping people live mentally healthy lives and dragging them out of unhealthy psychological ruts - ruts like getting deluded and swindled by the Church of Scientology (or any cult, for that matter). The Church of Scientology knows that psychiatrists are uniquely qualified to shred their web of deception, and so attempts to vilify the profession so that its own villainy will be concealed. It all makes perfect sense - psychiatrists are pretty much the Belmonts who slay evil (read: Scientology) and restore happiness to the people. And that's pretty much all I have to say here. 'Till next time!